BREAKING: Janner abused – by his daughter

Horrific revelations regarding Janner’s medical condition emerged today at the close of a gruelling 59 second appearance at Westminster Magistrates Court.

As his daughter led her father out of the court room (where he remembered his name – despite his dementia) she announced

‘Let’s go home and have a nice ice cream’

Despite pleas to spare the 87-year-old the “barbaric, inhumane and uncivilised” ordeal

He will now be taken home  and potentially subjected to:
Amyl acetate
Diethyl glyco
Aldehyde C-17
Ethyl Acetate
Monoglicerides, Diglicerides, & Triglicerides